Change of Heart or not?

HI.

I've been reflecting on how I've changed during the course of my life. Now when things are not so rosy, i don't really know what to do with myself.

My dance career feels so bleak when everywhere I go reminds me that I'm in Singapore. My studies are the bomb. I just received an F9 for A maths again... Don't understand why I do not get maths... It seems like its in another foreign language that has died out of use but still lingers on forever... Or maybe I still haven't really embraced it, shared my love for it... But I'm trying... Now I find finishing A maths homework an encouragement and hope to push me on to complete my other homework... But tests and exams always never go my way...

I've been seeing this person several times these two weeks, but I'm not so sure if it means to bloom into a friendship or something else... Life so far has been a race course for me in primary school, but in sec school, it seems more like an obstacle course where I never get past the obstacles, but even if I do, I am the last of all the racers...

On valentine's day, I gave people presents(or rather chocolate) but I received two... one of which is from my mom and the other from you. So I may have many 'friends' but am I cherished by people? What would people that I know live without me in existence? Do I make a difference in the world? Or am I just a grain of sand along the coast? Maybe its just me or I'm not really in the place where I am supposed to be? Is there another place for me? Another place that people appreciate me? Another place that people love and cherish me? Maybe I'm not meant for this world...